Question:
Is it normal that I don’t have multiple orgasms? I’ve read about a million times that I should be able to have all these orgasms. But the truth is, if I have one, the likelihood that I’ll have another one in the next 24 hour period is pretty much zero, and chances are, I probably won’t have another one for several days, no matter what I do. It doesn’t matter if it’s sex, masturbation or whatever. Its like I have one, and then I’m done for at least a day, maybe several. Is this normal?
Answer:
The likelihood that there is anything physically wrong is very, very slim. Not everyone can have multiple orgasms. Period. Just like not everyone can ejaculate. Lots of people can, and many of those people haven’t figured out the mutliple orgasm thing, or ejaculation thing yet, but it’s also important to note that NOT EVERYONE can do these things. By telling people that everyone can, we set people up to be disappointed in themselves, and even be concerned. Vulvas and vaginas are so unique and different, and like different things, so they enjoy pleasure in different ways. Not having multiple orgasms doesn’t mean that ANYTHING is wrong with you.
It’s possible that you might be able to have different types of orgasms through different stimulation (clitoral vs vaginal vs anal vs g-spot vs breasts, etc), but even if not, as long as you are enjoy the orgasm that you ARE having, then you’re golden. Sex is about pleasure and enjoyment, and if you’re having fun and feeling pleasure, then that is what is right for you.
Of course, stronger kegel/PC muscles can increase orgasm intensity, and the possibility of multiple orgasms, but never a guarantee — if you’re interested in experimenting, grab a set of kegel balls to work out your pelvic floor muscles. Sometimes bringing in a switch hitter like your favorite vibe can help help. However, it is 100% normal NOT to have multiple orgasms, and as long as you’re enjoying your sex life in general, you’re good to go.
-Shanna
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This post, Q and A: Is it Normal to NOT Have Multiple Orgasms?, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS on November 16, 2010.
